Random Thoughts
by red panda with black wings
Summary: Doctor Pepper lets out some random ideas. Animagi, OOC Snapes, and a non-existent Harry! who wouldn't like this? Oneshot.  Hopefully.


Somewhere in Great Britain, in the magical school known as Hogwarts, the Room of Requirement was opened, not for the first time, but certainly for a rather... unusual purpose.

Inside, animals were gathering. Magical animals. Because, as it was a magical school, all animals within it must therefore be magical. End of story.

The point was, animals were gathering. Magical animals. Animals, that, in reality, were... WIZARDS! *Gasp* Bet you didn't see that one coming.

Anyway, for whatever freakish reason, these magical-animals-that-were-really-WIZARDS-*gasp*-in-disguise were gathering. In the Room of Requirement. Did I already mention that?

Blah, blah, blah, now it is required that I, the author of this incredibly awe-inspiring fic., describe to you these animals, and whatever weird designs that might inhabit their bodies like vermin. *Shudder*

First to enter was a red and gold phoenix, gliding through the air before coming to a landing on a perfectly sized landing post that had suddenly appeared in the Room.

Weird.

Next to enter was a lion cub, mane just beginning to develop, tan, firm body slinking in warily. It settled itself on the floor.

It was startled by a snake, long and neon green, bright orange tongue flicking out.

A small monkey, deep brown, clambered in, eying them thoughtfully.

The tiniest to come, a tick jumped in, bouncing up and down. The others quickly moved away, until the monkey reached out and ate it. Problem solved.

A ferret, dignified and proud, scurried in, pink nose twitching.

A fat, pink toad hopped in, much to the disgust of all but the ferret.

An owl flew in, hooting softly.

A large black panther, fierce and impressive, stalked in.

A golden retriever ran in and proceeded to try to eat the toad, before spitting it out in revulsion.

A young hippogriff, with black chest feathers and wings, strode in, head held high.

A turtle entered, each step taking a few minutes.

A tabby cat, rings around its eyes, delicately stepped in.

A bowtruckle scampered in, much to the surprise of the room's occupants.

A rock, grey and dull, somehow hopped in.

And, last to enter, was a red panda, who went on to stand in the center of the room before transforming into the master of the story.

Doctor Pepper. *Lightning crackles.*

"Well," she said, taking in the animals, "okay."

They stared at her expectantly. She shrugged. "I felt like calling you here. So sorry for the trouble. Bye!"

With a pop they disappeared.

RANDOM.

* * *

"I refuse to allow that woman to put my baby through so much!"

"Lils-!" James protested. "I won't have it, James! You rad the books too, you know just how much that woman would put him through, just for profit!"

"Bad timing?" Doctor Pepper remarked settling back into one of the chairs.

James, exasperated, turned to her. "lily thinks that if we rename Harry, we can avoid everything Rowling wrote. I'm telling her it won't work, but she refuses to listen!"

She sighed. "It's true, Lily. The odds are minuscule that it will work. Even if it did, Rowling could easily replace you with more willing replacements without a second thought."

Her eyes were full of sympathy. Lily's arms tightened around Harry. m"I don't care! I'll do whatever I have to!"

James frowned. "You do realize he gets a happy ending with that Weasley girl, right?"

"Of course!" Lily exclaimed. "But he could still have that without all the suffering he goes through!"

Even as she spoke, Doctor Pepper watched in horror as their forms became more and more transparent.

"Curse it!" She swore She thrust harry, who also was fading at her.

"Take him!" She said fiercely. "Give him to Severus! The only way he'll be safe is if the Severitus fans are on his si-"

Doctor Pepper left before she could finish, knowing fully well that Harry was about to disappear entirely.

She appeared before Fanfiction Snape, staggering slightly.

You see, characters actually have two forms. Canon form, and Fanfiction form.

Canon form is the form in which the character are exactly as they were written. Fanfiction is a form composed of the writings about the character.

"What do you want?" Snape asked coldly.

She held out the bundle. He stumbled backwards, glaring daggers at her. "No," he hissed. "I already deal with more than enough little Potters coming at me with the belief that I am their father."

She grimaced. "I know, but this time it's different."

She glanced around before continuing. "This Potter has no past nor a future. Taken out by Rowling from her story to be replaced, he, technically, does not exist. You can mold him into any shape you feel."

Snape peered at harry for a moment. His features softened. "He does look somewhat like me.." he mumbled, the OOC part taking over.

"Good!" she said cheerfully and handed the baby off.

* * *

**Random, much?**

**Here's everyone who I included in the Animagi:**

**Dumbles, Snape, Neville, Hermione, Draco, Lucius, Voldy, McGonagall, Luna, Ron, Harry, Umbridge, Trelawney, Sprout, and Fudge.**

**Anyone who guesses at least eight right gets a special mention in the next thing I write!**

**Doctor Pepper  
**


End file.
